Kicking!

Yes, little bump has started kicking!

Actually, s/he started kicking about 2 weeks ago, but I thought it was something else. However, after doing some reading this past weekend, I realised what it was. Suddenly talking to it doesn’t seem so preposterous or foolish anymore (talking to my stomach just seemed silly, but now I KNOW I’m talking to someone, not just to my stomach).

S/he is most active in the evenings when I’m sitting still, and although the kicks are generally gentle, s/he can deliver a real punch from time to time – especially when I’m least expecting it.

Suddenly the fact that there is a real live person in there feels real… I’m not just an incubator for some silent and innocuous parasite – I’m growing a real live person who has a personality and independent will, thoughts and emotions (or will do shortly!).

I’m reminded again of what a miracle pregnancy and birth are. Truly miraculous!

Nicole

Sjoe!

Well, it’s done (more or less!). We’re moved in to our new flat. Took long enough! Boxes are unpacked (although we still have to sort stuff around to make it all fit properly), and utilities set up; only a few things left to sort out – like curtains…

Needless to say, my back and tummy felt it. Before you say it, yes, I was good (well, for me anyway!) and did not lift heavy stuff. Pushed a bit – but then I figure that’s good practice for January! – but always sensibly, with my back, and with bent legs…

We took a long weekend away, to recover, which was lovely. It was so nice just getting away from all the things that I can see need doing – like the garden, and the curtains, and… – and just have a complete rest. It was nice not to feel guilty about taking time off to just read a book!

My indigestion is getting worse. Nothing seems to help – I’m popping antacids like sweets, and then popping prunes to counteract the resultant constipation. It doesn’t matter whether I eat small meals or big ones, avoid acidic foods or avoid alkaline foods, eat slowly, drink plenty of water (actually – water seems to make it a LOT worse, so I’ve taken to drinking milk instead), eat bread and other starches to “mop up” excess acid, sit up straight, lie down…. Nothing works. I’ve finally decided I should go and see my GP about it. There must be other women who’ve had it this badly and there must be something stronger I can take – maybe an acid suppressant of some sort.

I’ve taken the opportunity afforded by the move to pack away clothes I can’t fit into. It’s quite sad really, to think that it’ll be a year or more before I can wear some of these items again – and some of them are my absolute favourites. I also bought my first item of preggy wear – a pair of jeans with cotton fabric waist panels and adjustable elasticated waist. UGH! It sounds awful, I know – but it doesn’t look too bad, as long as I wear long-ish shirts to hide the cotton panels.

I’m still having my popcorn cravings… at least nothing more bizarre than that! I suspect all the extra salt is the culprit causing massive foot and leg cramps though, so I’m going to have to start making my own with no salt, instead of buying the microwave variety.

Next week is my 2nd scan (21 and a half weeks). We’ve decided we want to know the sex of the baby, so watch this space for the announcement. We went browsing for baby stuff the other day – just to look, you know? OMYGOSH! I’d forgotten how much STUFF babies need…. and how expensive it all is! And then I got to thinking that it’s time we started thinking about actually buying some of this stuff so that we don’t wind up with a serious cash flow problem over Christmas… and then I got to thinking that it’s time I started doing some more reading… and then I got to thinking that I’ve only got another 4 months left in which to do all this… and then I got to thinking that in 4 months I will actually have a real live baby of my own… and then I got to panicking again.

Of course, I know we’ll be fine, but in the immortal words of my darling husband “I HAVE to panic!” (Zim-SA border, 1994-ish) Hee hee!!

I’ve also bought myself a book on exercise during pregnancy – a pilates one (and got a free yoga one with it, which I won’t be using…). I figured that it was time I got back to doing exercise and built up the stamina and strength I’m going to need to carry, push and handle both the rest of this pregnancy and then a growing baby. Of course, good intentions are great, but there’s no time like the present, right? Hmm… ok, I’m off to eat some popcorn and read about how to exercise – maybe watch some of the Ashes test… watching someone else exercise is good too!

Nicole

Injury and stress

Following my visit to the GP, I’ve been taking my steroids, and the coughing has stopped, which is great! I still get twinges every now and again, which are very sore, but I’d say it’s 100% better now. In fact, I even managed to pack the car when we went on holiday last week, picking up suitcases and things (carefully, of course).

We had a lovely time away – very restful! It was rather a shock coming back to the stress of home and moving. The bank has stuffed up royally, so I’m not even sure we will be able to sign the lease and move. It’s all supposed to be happening today, but I don’t think it will.

It also seems now that I’ve entered the indigestion phase with a vengence! Not very pleasant, but at least treatable with no side-effects for baby. I’m not sure though how much is baby related and how much is stress related. In any event, the amount of stress I feel can’t be good for the baby! I recently read an excellent book called ‘Why love matters’, which looks at (amongst other thigns) how hormones in utero play a major role on the baby’s emotional development (and not just their mental development). Stress in the mother apparently causes the child to have a reduced ability to develop empathy, and also causes the child to develop receptors that reduce it’s tolerance of stress. Hmm…

I guess I need to eat some chocolate, watch a good chick flick, and just generally chill out then, eh?

Nicole

Bumpity bump

Yesterday was the first time someone told me I was starting to “bloom”. I wasn’t sure how to respond, since I hardly feel like I’m blooming. This past week I’ve had almost daily headaches (I think I need new glasses) and I’ve been getting the most incredibly painful muscle spasms in my lower abdomen, so much so I went to see my GP.

Turns out that it’s all hayfever related (although my hayfever has been really mild at the moment). I’ve merely strained the muscles in my abdomen wall as a result of all the coughing I’ve been doing (hasn’t let up since I had my cold). She prescribed some stuff which should start helping shortly, I hope, but I have to take it for 6 weeks, which I’m not too thrilled about.

Of course, having strained my stomach muscles, I really can’t lift anything – even light stuff hurts, which means that, while I can pack for our move (only 10 days to go, only 10 days to go!!), I’m now legitimately unable to carry anything. (Hee hee! You have to take pleasure in the little things!)

However, on the up side, my bump has suddenly turned decidely (small!) bump shaped, rather than just being a redistribution of my fat layers! I now feel legitimately pregnant, rather than just fat. Actually, having weighed myself, I haven’t put on any weight in the past 4 months (can you believe we’re that far already??), which rather surprised me, given how massively huge and unattractive I’ve been feeling. I had thought I would pick up 2 kg’s by now, but not so!

The kids at school all found out today, and I was given a round of applause in assembly… and the first comment one of my mentees asked (in a rather plaintive tone) was, “But who will be our mentor next year then???” (all together now….. ag, shame!) Again, I’ve been surprised by how excited they are for me – they’re only little, yet somehow most of them instinctively understand what a big deal this is. Rather touching, really.

Nicole

I'm sick, and FAT

Everyone says that during pregnancy they bloomed – never been so healthy, never felt so well, never had so much energy. Well, they’re liars, I tell you, liars! I’ve never felt to tired, and sick and weak, and unwell….

While the nausea has been retreating and disappearing (thank God!!), it seems I’ve begun to be plagued by other illnesses. First there was the diarrhea bug I picked up from the kids at school 2 weeks ago. Oh what fun! Then there was the cold I picked up from the air-con while on a training course for a day last week. Joy abounds! So over the past 2 weeks I have not been a happy camper.

In the midst of all this, I preached the same sermon 3 times at church – sitting on a bar stool, I might add – and got plenty of sympathy and well-wishing from all who attended the 3 services. (That was nice – the sympathy, I mean!). I’m tired, and in the heat wave London is having (which is great – blue skies and sunshine abounds!! YAY!! A real summer!) I am feeling even hotter and fatter than usual. And I still have 2 weeks left of school this term….

Speaking of which, several people have started commenting that I’m already showing. I hate to disillusion them and embarrass myself by saying – no, actually, that’s just my fat! – so I keep my mouth shut and smile sweetly and everyone stays happy (except me, who feels even fatter as a result, and therefore goes and does an impulse buy of a very nice, evening/ special occasion blouse for comfort). (Eating chocolate doesn’t help – that just makes me fatter, which makes me more miserable!) Roll on 5 months when I will legitimately be showing and it won’t just be the fat everyone is seeing!

Still no decision on the name (do you KNOW how many names there are out there??!?!?!!?!), but we’ve decided when we have our next scan (end of Aug) that we want to know the sex, so that should help. And no decision yet on surname either…. sigh!

Let’s hope that this last stretch before the holidays sees a massive improvement and that I enter the ‘blooming’ phase, because otherwise I fear I’m going to be so tiresome I’ll bore even myself to death!

Nicole

Surprises and frustrations

My head at school announced my pregnancy to the staff yesterday. I was suprised by the different responses people had towards me. Staff I hardly know were wanting to hug me (uh… personal space?? hello?? You’re still a stranger!) and pat my tummy (hmm… there’s nothing there to see yet!!! apart from my pre-existing fatness, and I don’t want you patting THAT, thank you!). Others were genuinely shocked (they had not put 2 and 2 together, clearly – the signs were there to read for those who cared to notice), but absolutely thrilled for me, which was nice; left me with a warm fuzzy feeling towards them.

I guess I’m going to have to start getting used to complete strangers coming up and wanting to rub and pat my tummy. I mean, friends is one thing, but strangers is a completely different ball game! After all, it’s my body and my personal space, and I haven’t invited them to get intimate with me. Right? I think I’m either going to wind up being really rude to a lot of people, or really angry with suppressed frustration because I’m determined not to be rude to people. Sigh!

On the tube today, as I was coming home, it got quite hot (either it was really hot, or else I was just feeling it more than everyone else, or a bit of both). I started to feel really faint, and found myself getting angry with men who were sitting in the priority seats, while I was standing. I had to keep reminding myself that since I don’t have a tummy I can’t expect them to mind-read that I’m pregnant. (Even then, many Londoners are not gracious and won’t give up seats on the tube.) There should be some sort of badge that ante-natal clinics hand out to women in the early stages of their pregnancy that they can wear to identify themselves so that others can be considerate towards them, don’t you think?

I’ve been utterly amazed at the response we’ve had from people to deciding to use the blog to communicate! I’m really pleased that so many of you seem to think this is a good idea and that it will be better than email. We aim to please!

Anyway, those are my surprises and frustrations for the day, for what they’re worth.

Nicole

First scan

Graeme and I went for the first scan on Friday. WOW!!!

I’d been having these irrational fears that this pregnancy thing was all in my head and that when we got there, there’d be nothing to see. Completely irrational, but there you are.

To see our baby’s little heart beating, to see his/her little hands, and feet, and ears, and nose, and brain…. there are no words really to describe it. Conception and the start of a new life – it’s a miracle. How else can you describe this amazing process?

Even at 13 weeks, our baby already has all it’s major internal organs and from now on it’s just a process of growing and developing them to full capacity. Wow!

Needless to say, I cried for joy.

Now that it’s real, we have to start the process of choosing names in earnest. I guess it would help if we could figure out what surname to give it. No doubt there will be arguments about that too. So we went shopping for a baby names book today, and already the disagreements about naming has begun. Family name or not? Biblical? African? Afrikaans? Irish? Still, we have another 7 weeks till we can find out the sex of the baby.

Actually, we’re not too sure whether we want to know or not. There are pro’s and con’s both ways. The main pro is that you can start to build a real relationship with it – not having to call it ‘it’ all the time. The main con is that you won’t have the surprise at the end of all the pushing and pain!

General progress is good. The tiredness is starting to improve, although I’ve discovered how quickly I tire now. I think I’m going to hate how incapacitated I’m going to become – can’t do long walks, can’t go up stairs, can’t carry stuff…. The nausea is still with me, although it too is better than a few weeks back. While everyone assures me it will pass, I think I’ll believe it when I see it!

Still, when I look at the photo of our little baby, somehow, all the illness and tiredness seems managable – after all, it’s a tough job growing a brand new body from scratch!

Nicole